No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
