He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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