Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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