You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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