:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
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She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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