I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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