i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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