He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
