shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize