It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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