I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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