Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
