My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
