absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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