also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
