my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
