Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
