OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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