he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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