I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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