Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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