so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
