Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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