no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm going to jail i love you
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
