Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation