I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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