Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
