dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think your dad took our porno
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
