It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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