I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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