Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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