I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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