I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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