Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
