4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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