I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
