So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
