im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize