what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
