no you cant smoke seaweed
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
