Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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