Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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