dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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