Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
