He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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