bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
