I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
it glows. i had to have it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
