I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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