Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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