Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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