we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
