She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Randomize
