I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
