I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
