In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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