is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dick very happy bro
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
