I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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