If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have post one night stand depression
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
