DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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